Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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