She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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