i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
