If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I wear drunk well.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm really busy with my period
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