What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My penis needs a shock collar
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
