i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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