My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
