i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
