He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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