lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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