party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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