1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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