spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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