they need to just BURY HIM!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
