is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
