Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize