What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize