Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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