she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Bring me that man meat
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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