ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
