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• (818): View more from California

  he got wood on it!

  (408): View more from California

  i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.

  (818): View more from California

  ...i was talking about hockey

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!

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• (212): View more from New York

  You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?

  (475): View more from Connecticut

  Yeah?

  (212): View more from New York

  Stuck it in his pooper.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.

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• (916): View more from California

  I'm back here naked if anyones wondering

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• (518): View more from New York

  Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?

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• (310): View more from California

  If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great

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