I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
