The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
