Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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