Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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