Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
