never play flip cup with pint glasses
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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