Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
