my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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