things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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