four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
