YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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