i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
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the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
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We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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