You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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