So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i drank out of a bidet.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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