your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it glows. i had to have it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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