I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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