I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
