you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
