and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is Oprah even human
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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