let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
