they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
