The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize