Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
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basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
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Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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