we have officially lost it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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