I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
