seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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