Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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