The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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