so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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