alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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