its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
sarcasm needs its own font
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
