the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
