you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
