It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
