ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
