it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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