dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
